I will start with a brief overview of what school is like at Austin Busines and Entrepreneurship Academy (ABEA). We are a small school on the fourth floor of a once-huge school; now, the first floor is all administration, the second is Austin Polytechnical, the third floor is Austin Voice and we are on the fourth and final floor. Students wear uniforms that need to be tucked in at all times, with no sagging pants, and no earrings for the boys. Shoes have to be all-black, including the soles, because students have been known to show gang affiliations through their shoes.
I teach six class periods, with two subjects; Freshman Reading and Freshman Literature/Language Arts. Because the classes are structure this way, I have all my students twice in the same day. I like that because it lets me see into their learning in a more intense way than if I only taught them once a day. However, it is difficult to keep their attention by the end of the day; they are used to my voice, face, interaction style and routines.
It is not surprising to me that two boys chose my ninth period class to fist fight with each other two weeks ago. I found out later that the tension between them had been mounting all day long, but at the time, I felt like the worst teacher in the history of education. It was such a sinking feeling to realize that the safety and routine of my classroom was put in Jeopardy for all my students because two boys couldn’t control their tempers… But, thankfully, we all moved on and things are back to normal now.
It has been four weeks since school started, and we will be finishing up units in both my Literature/Language Arts and Reading classes this week. Part of me is elated that I finally get to move on to the next unit, yet part of me is very nervous. My students know very little of what they should right now, especially in terms of the Greek Mythology unit… At what point, I wonder, will I feel confident in my teaching abilities and my students’ grasp of the material enough to second-guess everything in the classroom?
Many, many people have told me within the last month that I am being too hard on myself, that most teachers do not make an impact in their classrooms their first year, etc. etc. Yet I see my students, and recognize that, too many times in tehir lives, they have had teachers who have not made a difference in their education. I do not want to repeat that pattern for them. So this self-flagellation is partially justified, though only partially. Now that I have had a month to get acclimated, and have been able to see what things I need to change in my classrooms, it is time to go out and do those things. For example, I know that I need to be more routine about checking students’ notes for points. They love getting points for everything, even if the points don’t mean a whole lot. My original dream was to have students who did not care how many points any given assignment was worth, but would complete all their work because they were invested in their own education, and would recognize how important the tool was for their learning. Ha. That is the way a handful of students operate, but it is silly of me to expect or hope for that from every student. United States society in general operates on such an extrinsic reward model that it is not surprising that students would look at education in the same light.
On a more positive note, I love how funny some of my students are. Larry can still scream like a girl, and chose to do so when a bee flew into our classroom earlier this week. It was a monster of a bee, but he was being incredibly distracting (obviously). I hit the bee with my clipboard, stomped on it and went on with the lesson, thinking that I was pretty cool. I had Larry’s attention, anyway. Robert sheepishly admitted that he had done some research about ancient Greek mythology at the library, much to his classmates’ admiration. Sarahfina was pissed that I called her mom to tell her that I noticed Sarah’s temper getting high in class, and that I hoped Sarah and I could figure something out to keep it to a minimum. She asked me, first thing the next morning, if I could send a positive note home with her on Friday so that her mom wouldn’t be mad at her anymore. “Of course, Sarahfina,” I said with a smile… So my students are becoming invested in little ways, I guess. They sure as heck don’t want me to see it yet, though!
Megan
You know, I’m in college, but I still need motivation to do stuff I *want* to do. As much as I feel invested in my own education, receiving grades/points for assignments gives me the incentive to do them. I admit that without an incentive, I would become rather wishy-washy in my motivation to do any work at all. I don’t know how you were in school, Sarah, but it’s just something to keep in mind about school work: even those of us who love learning do assignments for points!